If you’re anything like me, you know what it’s like to sit at your computer, feeling that rush of booking plane tickets to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Finally – the confirmation page: Your trip is booked! You’re basking in the glory of trip anticipation, and then all of a sudden a small, sticky creature walks in the room and gives you her wild, crazy-eyed smile.

It’s your toddler. And she’s coming with.

You feel a tiny flicker of panic. But – we got you. Here are five ways we’ve learned to help prepare for trips with our own small, sticky creature (her name is Freya, by the way), and we know they can help you, too.

1). Show Your Toddler Exactly What to Expect

Going to the noisy airport, watching their favorite stuffy go through security, waiting for hours, and then sitting surrounded by strangers—it’s a lot for a toddler, especially on their first few flights. But meltdowns don’t have to be inevitable. Talking them through the experience ahead of time can work wonders. When toddlers know what to expect, they feel more secure and are better able to manage their feelings without getting overwhelmed.

Stories and books can be especially helpful for this, like Freya Goes On An Airplane. In it, your little one will follow Freya step by step as she faces each part of the trip with her best friend, Bunny—helping each other be brave along the way.

 

2). Give Your Toddler A Special Travel-Day Job

Toddlers love to feel important, so giving them a super special and important job for the big day gives them a sense of control and contribution during what can feel like a chaotic time. Let them know about their special job ahead of time and build up the excitement!

If your toddler is on the younger side, maybe it’s as simple as putting them in charge of keeping their favorite stuffy safe. If they’re older, maybe they can be the luggage counter, making sure you have all of your bags as you move through each stage of the trip.

Involving your toddler this way will give them something to focus on and be proud of.

3). Preview and Hype Up The Destination

Help your toddler focus on where you’re going by showing them pictures and talking about the fun activities you’ll do together to build excitement before the trip. Then, during tough travel moments, remind them of the destination: “What animals do you think we’ll see first?” Or give them a themed coloring book with landscapes like what you'll explore together. If you’re visiting family, pull up pictures of Nana and chat about what they’ll do when they see her.

Many parents focus on distracting toddlers with toys (which works, and you should definitely do - we’re all about it!), but also finding ways to get them more deeply engaged in the trip itself and excited about the destination is an under-utilized strategy that can make the journey smoother and more fun.

 

4). Don’t Wing It With the Mental Load

Traveling with a toddler means keeping track of ALL THE THINGS, and it can be overwhelming (we’ve accidentally forgotten multiple bags at an airport in a foreign country because there were just too many tabs open in our brains). Planning ahead for the mental load can save you a ton of stress. Before your trip, if you’re traveling with a partner, sit down with them and divide the tasks. Each person fully owns their responsibilities—from conceiving, to planning to execution (a concept known as CPE in Eve Rodsky’s book Fair Play).

For example, if I’m in charge of Freya’s clothes, I handle everything: picking them out, packing them up, having a change ready for the flight, and unpacking when we arrive. My partner never has to think about it. If he’s in charge of snacks, he chooses them, buys them, packs them, and makes sure we have them ready for the flight. Snacks? Not my problem.

If you’re traveling solo, the same approach works—just make a checklist. That way, you’ve already thought through every detail, freeing up your mental energy so you’re not constantly trying to remember to remember every little thing while on the go.

 

5). Plan Less to Explore More

It’s tempting to feel like you have to plan every detail even more when traveling with a toddler, but doing so often leaves you stuck to, fighting, or constantly rearranging a rigid schedule. Instead, try planning less. What’s worked for us is choosing one main activity for the day—something we’d like to do, but we don’t book it in advance unless absolutely necessary. This way, we can focus on doing what’s most important without feeling locked into a strict itinerary.

From there, we adjust the rest of the day based on how everyone’s feeling. If we’re all up for more, we do it! If not, we let it go knowing we did what was most important to us. We also alternate between “on-the-go” nap days and “hotel/Airbnb” nap days, balancing adventure with downtime to keep Freya’s energy (and ours) in check.

Traveling with a toddler can be full of surprises, but with the right preparation, you can do what’s in your control to help the trip go as smoothly as possible. And remember, even if it doesn’t go quite as you’d hoped, all the frustration and stress you feel in that moment will fade with time and give way to a funny story you can tell your toddler as they grow older (that’s what I tell myself, anyways 😉). These five tips have worked wonders for our family, and I hope they help yours too. Safe travels!